The TRUTH About 2038

What if I told you that everything you love and hold dear was about to come to an end based on the sketchy and vague prophecies of a race of alcoholic cannibals with little to no technology? You'd look at me like I just farted in church, that's what!

BUT WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT THE END TIMES WERE PREDICTED BY MODERN COMPUTERS?

Warning: The information on this page might blow your mind.

The world will end on January 19, 2038 at 3:14:08 AM UTC

2038

How do we know this?
Computer systems that run UNIX operating system (such as those used by real scientists to make weather predictions) have a very accurate calendar. We know it's very accurate because we change it every time a geological event slows down the rotation of the earth by a few microseconds. This calendar comes to and end on Janurary 19, 2038 at 3:14:07 AM UTC. Therefore, the world ends on January 19, 2038 at 3:14:08 AM UTC.
Although there is much speculation over the specific events over this prophetic date, we do know that these incredibly ambiguous events will be catastrophic and life-changing (or possibly life-ending). According to the computers, time will hiccup back to December 13, 1901 at 8:45:52 PM. A large New Age following has emerged in recent months, proclaiming that 2038 does not mark the end of the world, but a transition into an era of 64-bit timestamps on UNIX systems. In the end, only time will tell.

Many people remain skeptical of the inevitable doomsday apocalypse of 2038. To these unwavering critics, I say, "The computers predict your weather. Why can't they predict the end of all life as we know it?"

Get your UNIX number! Enter your birthday below and we will calculate the UNIX timestamp range for your birthday. For FREE!
Month: Day: Year:
Are you convinced that the world is going to come to a sudden and climactic end on January 19, 2038? Then join the
2038 Believers List Want to join the list? Then just buy my book, 2038 Survival Guide, for the ultra low price of $99.95, fill out the card in the back of the book, and send it in the mail with a $20 processing fee. Within six weeks your name will proudly be displayed as one of the enlightened few believers. Order now and get a free* tin foil hat!

But wait, there's more! Order two, and you can make your own tin foil Madonna bra out of your tin foil hats.

* Plus S&H.

Further Reading

1245
Back to Kobra's Corner..