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I'm Always Right. You're Always Wrong. This is Why Things Are as They Are.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who's noticed this. In the recent weeks, there has been a drastic increase in people who would challenge my superiority and even try to argue with me, not even aware of how uninformed of the practices of their own faith they are. They're usually Christian fanatics who believe at least one of the following:
Setting an example means I'm going to follow it.
You're doing me a favor by trying to convert me to Christianity. (see: force-feeding)
I actually care what anyone else thinks, or I respect their opinions in any way, shape, or form in this plane of existance or in any other, real or imaginary (see: heaven).
Typing horribly-written contradictious comments is doing the work of God/Allah/Yahweh/Omen.
If you fall into that category, this article is for you.
The first(but certainly not the last) reason that I'm always right is that I start with an open mind about everything. As time goes on (by time I mean like four consecutive seconds at the max) I will analyze all of the sides and distinguish the incredibly stupid ones from the understandable ones. If something drops below a certain level (see: absolute zero) on the EMO -> Logical scale, then I will point out exactly what makes it so goddamn retarded. An example would be the classic case of an emo kid and their habit of slitting their wrists for attention:
"I don't have a problem with suicide. In fact, I recommend it to someone at least twice a day. But what I have a problem with is repeatedly failing to succeed at a self-inflicted demise and expecting to be the center of attention for doing so. If you fail at suicide, you don't deserve to live."
That's my thought process. As you can see, I began with a somewhat-open mind (this is somewhat a bad example since I've already concluded that emo kids are fuck-ups) then analyzed the subject at hand. I analyzed their behavior and their reasons for doing so, and concluded that they don't deserve to live. If you look carefully, there seem to be some attempted jokes in there. Well, that's how I think. I probably have random bursts of maniacal laughter. I make attempted jokes at myself. Maybe that would explain why my boss thinks I'm a psycho. Ahem! Let's get back on topic.
The second reason I'm always right is because I acquire a great deal of knowledge about everything. If I feel like making fun of something, it's probably because something irritates me or I've collected enough material to rant about it. If it's an irritation, I will usually research the topic or gather information about the person to make sure I'm not just misinformed. I will then carry out my task appropriately (this usually results in me posting something about it or mentioning it somewhere anyway, thanks to my 4 skill ranks in Innuendo).
The third reason I'm always right is because I have nothing to gain by being wrong. I write stuff on Kobra's Corner for three main reasons. Most importantly, my friends enjoy reading it, and I enjoy writing in it. But another major factor is that I refuse to be close-minded about anything that I deem worth ranting about. Now, you might be able to pick that sentence apart and use it against me, but I already told you how I come up with topics for Kobra's Corner. (Click here if you're stumped!)
I'm not saying that I will never write something on Kobra's Corner that I do not whole-heartedly agree with, because I've done that in the past. I mean, look at alot of my earlier topics. Most of them were inspired by boredom and their only purpose was to fill up space. But I usually won't write about something unless I either believe in it or think it would spark a hilarious reaction from one or more members. Omen's Not a Neo-Nazi... He's Old-School! is a good example of one of those posts.
Now that we have concluded that I am always right (If you failed to yield the same result, it's okay. It just means your logic is flawed and you should do a favor to the world and jump off the Empire State building onto a Muslim man. (You'll die a hero!)), let us move on to the most important part: Why You Are Always Wrong. Bear in mind that this is directed at those whiny fucks who tried to argue with me.
The first and foremost reason why you're always wrong is that you're a religious fanatic. You'd be willing to bet your left testicle on the fact that your god, and only your god, is the one true God and that everything your religion is the absolute truth and anything else is either a sin, a lie, or tainted by the Devil (or the Infidels in the case of the more extreme fanatics). This inflates your pride exponentially and locks your brain shut tighter than the metaphorical chasity belt on Dana Scully (you'd have to have seen the TV show "Undergrads" to appreciate that joke. Yet another obscure reference).
Let me make this clear to you: I hate the kind of person you are. You fail to realize that everyone who strictly follows every other religion feels the exact same way, and both sides are usually willing to die defending their religion... incentivised by the thought of a peaceful afterlife of bliss if they do so. What they also fail to realize is that you're causing devastation and you're having a major negative impact on society as a whole when you do such things.
With this mindset, you come to Kobra's Corner with a mission: to tell Kobra that he's not a good Christian and that you dislike anti-religious people. You want to save him from an eternity of hell. To this, I must ask you, which of the following is better?
Scenario A.: You no longer have the ability to "sin." You cannot enjoy life, for nothing makes you happy. You cannot appreciate the beauty of a naked female, especially since nobody there has a gender. You no longer feel anything. All you can experience is a seemingly drug-induced ecstacy about actually making it all the way here. However, you never express this as it requires free will, which you do not have. You will exist like this forever with no chance to change back.
Scenario B.: You are cast into a lake of fire. You experience the pain of being burned, but this will fade away when you no longer have nerves to burn. You are reduced to a paraplegic in a matter of seconds. But in order to feel the pain, you are still permitted to have your free will. The right to choose is still with you. You can make a better tomorrow and possibly work to make hell a better place if you have a good heart, or rule over it if you have an evil one.
Religious people opt for Scenario A. And who can blame them? Why think for yourself when your god can think for you? And he obviously does, considering the fact that you blindly follow him like a bunch of pawns and persecute those who don't conform to your ignorance. Set me on fire if you will, at least I'll still be my own person. I will still have my own mind, my own thoughts, and my own opinions. That is why I would opt for Scenario B. I don't care how bad the torture is. I'd rather pay that price to keep my "god-given" free will. But I wouldn't bet money on either scenarios ever happening.
And thus I must conclude that, while you persist on trying to change my ways or even while you close your mind to the thoughts and opinions of others, you will always be wrong. Think for yourself, and maybe one day you will be able to challenge me. Of course, by the time that happens you won't have anything to challenge me over. Checkmate, I win again!
Problem with Scenario A: We dont necessarily become angels and hermaphrodites lol, neither will we lack lol... and it's supposed to be life on new earth, without tribulation, not being high lol
Your experience with Church has taught you that it's not how heaven is. Mine has been. I'll accept criticism regarding that point, but I still think hell is a better choice for me.
Where's my bible, I wanna make sure I get this right... *finds it, and reads chapters of revelations for a while*
Ok, first I'll express what I think may happen, and then explain on it....
Hell is not necessarily a flaming hole in some weird dimension.
I think hell is earth as is, and those who go to hell are simply those who will refuse the ideals of god and will be basically left behind to do as they please. I won't pretend to know where 'New Jerusalem' will be, but my guess is a different dimension, because it says that The First Heaven and First Earth disappeared, not that they were destroyed, blown up, or chopped to bits as to be no evidence whatsoever. I believe it, This God of mercy, who created us out of boredom it seems, suddenly wants to massacre and torment people for something that he caused? Yeah, really, really, random.... Either God has mood swings, or it's not true.
My reasoning: Think about it, around 80% or more of earth is molten rock, a more than convincing amount to be a lake of fire, but to be more reasonable, supposively tectonic activity could become worse in the future, possibly sprouting Volcanoes, and creating Literal lakes of fire all around, doesn't mean that there isn't life on earth somewhere somehow, just that not the best slide in the future machine was shown lol...
Ok now on to 'Second Death', C'mon people, this is easy, Think if you were a Christian Fanatic and you were left out of heaven, after you died. There you go, and now you know.
As sometimes hinted, This is hell, the complete separation from god and all that is good. The place where indulgence takes place of........ whatever the hell the opposite of indulgence is....
haha, I didn't mean any of the things you said, at all. Remember, be open-minded. And by the way, I don't go to church.
Uh... JW guy, I have not idea what you said, lol. But some of it seems logical enough to me to some certain extent. :p
I don't believe hell is fire and brimstone and a gay Saddam. I think it is what the worst torture a human can think of. Like I've said before, i'm no fundamentalist.
And you are not being ignorant? Please put yourself in a Christian's shoes for once, and see how your comments are as annoying as you think a Christian is. You go devout on your own beliefs of something and even put up stuff like "I'm right you're wrong." You have said that Christian's shoving their opinions down an atheist's throat is annoying, however, your comments have been very one-sided and biased. Not trying to be rude or whatever, I'm just voicing my opinion, as I think I am allowed to do. I don't care that you are an atheist, I don't care about what you believe, I am just saying that I would rather talk sophisticated on this sort of matter, you know, take a logical approach to the question, and take in conclusions through analysis, not through bashing and comments that annoy people. If you hate Christian fanatics coming here to speak about what they believe, than please at least stop talking trash about them, and maybe, just maybe, they wouldn't come through here. You call Christians ignorant, however, you bash their beliefs with little care, as you adress bias comments.
That is all I have to say, and if this offends you, I personally do not care, but I am sorry that it does. Thank you.
In case you haven't noticed, I'm not a very serious guy. "Once again, ignorance shines through from Christians." It's called a joke. Do I have to spell it out for you? N-O-T B-E-I-N-G S-E-R-I-O-U-S.
I never told you to come here and post your beliefs. This is where I post my rants inspired by random bullshit. I never said it was an open discussion forum. I rule this section of the internet with an iron fist. Totalitarianism and Fascism seem like Child's Play compared with how I would run this site if I weren't too damn lazy.
And it takes alot to offend me. This article wasn't just directed at you, it was directed at that wannabe Jehovah's Witness and that one bitch, Bria, who told me that I'm wrong about my opinion regarding the NAACP.
If you don't like it, stay off of here. If you're not gonna take the stuff I say as a joke, and you're gonna try and be pissy and argue with me, then you can go wrap yourself around a telephone pole at 90 mph for all I care.
For the record: I don't hand out business cards containing the URL to Kobra's Corner at the local church. But Christian fanatics won't hesitate to post their beliefs. It's my website, like it or not. It's not a place for you worthless zealots to post your unwanted bullshit.
Wow, I post something that could be the end of my credibility or the end of Christian Idiocy, and someone goes and messes it up... YAY!
um Izar, the whole point of that scenario was that pain was afflicted unless Self-Afflicted (Emos, or Human vs Human). Basically, all the holy peoples I guess go to heaven, and everyone else just sorta carries on as they do now, Cause they embrace their own Ideals over God's, so leave them to them....
Seriously though, Kobra's not being all that unfair... He posts here, on his own site and own time, about his opinions on Christianity; He doesn't go straight up into "www.ZOMGchristian.com" and say "SATAN RULES!".... well, maybe he does, probably provoked though... My point is, He's posting here, not in the middle of bible study class, there is no encroachment being done by him.
Now I won't exactly say you are... Honestly, this isn't so important for me to track down each one of your posts and deliberate on that *Turns the page*... But calling him out on something like this isn't really smart... Kobra and Omen do tend to be brutal, but only when people act like idiots... Other than that and the Occasional bash, which is admittingly usually well-researched, they are decent respectable people... This IS kobra's Site, or better yet, his corner; He has every right to post anything he wants here... Coming in and saying you disagree is one thing, but then saying that he shouldn't post that is really overstepping your bounds...
Advice from one Christian to another, Christianity is fucked up, deal with it... The only thing you can do to make it better is act like a decent and respectable Christian, and hopefully people will catch on to that. If Christianity wasn't fucked up, Catholicism would not be a christian religion.
Also, you need to learn, Not every attack against your religion is a Call to Arms. (I need to write that down... Bumper sticker time)
Take things in jest, often, and really you should only be serious if the occasion calls for it... Not your view of the occasion, but the occasion. I'm not saying Laugh at someone who's on their deathbed, but when someone says your religion is wrong, just humor them, or at least laugh to yourself and be courteous and polite.
JF, Just shut up, and save what little pride you have....
You have just proved that your a hypocrite... You don't respect Kobra's Beliefs, yet You want him to respect yours...
Yeah real smart, you know, I hate doing this, but you really are starting to seem like some kid who thought if you bashed a "Heathen" or something, Everyone would be so amazed at your Wannabe-Pope skills or something...
Get a Life dude, No one cares, especially when you pretty much contradict everything you say and believe in
I would definately prefer to keep my own free will than to have sum guy in a white cloak with a long white beard tell me what to do (and no im not talking about saruman and gandalf)
For JF, no-ones gonna be amazed at your Wannabe-Pope skills, simply because there are about 5 people who read this (well at least this topic, there are probably a lot more on other topics)
Actually, there are about 20 people who read this over my shoulder when I make a new topic, it's just that only 5 people have their own accounts and comment on them.
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And by the way, I don't go to church.
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