Are you experiencing lag? Click here to make it go away. [hide]
Common Advertising Phrases and Why they Suck
You hear it on TV all the time: some retarded bald guy invented a product that doesn't do anything particularly useful and wants everyone in America to buy one. So, instead of doing the smart thing and loading up Google Adwords, they decide to be bold and advertise on the TV... and, without fail, you'll hear one of these phrases in the duration of the commerical/infomercial:
Revoluntionary - If their products were truly so revolutionary, they'd be able to be sold in stores and people would know about it within a week of when it got sold. This never happens, as most of the stuff invented is cleaning products and nobody cares how you got your floor so clean.
X People Can't Be Wrong - Let me introduce to you: Christianity and Satanism. Two completely opposite religions, each massing huge crowds of people all over the world. I can't find an exact number, but I'm sure there are near one million satanists (at least) in the world. If these two religions are opposites, that means that some of them CAN be wrong.
Time-Saving - But that's only if you don't count the time you unfold it, adjust it, pour the mix into the bucket, wait for the bucket to fill with water, let it sit for 20 minutes for the chemical to dissolve, and, finally, the hour you spend waiting for your freshly-cleaned kitchen floor to dry. If you don't, it COULD have an effect that isn't totally UNLIKE time-saving, but that's all psychological.
30-Day Money Back Guarantee - Some companies might not do this, but I still have to point this out: 3 Days for the credit card to go through, plus 2 days to complete your order, plus 14 to 21 days for them to get off their lazy asses and ship it. Do the math. Your 30-day guarantee could be expired after you've had it for FOUR days.
Try it Before You Buy It - Translation: Believe that you're getting a free item, but we'll bill your card anyway. If you decide you don't want to keep the product, we MIGHT refund the charge... maybe.
It's so sad how uncreative these people are. If these advertisers were truly creative, they'd find a way to sell that doesn't involve empty promises... who knows? Maybe, if they were creative, they wouldn't tamper with cleaning products and diet pills all day and would focus on making something useful for EVERYONE. Not just slobs and preps.
Comments (2)
Post Comment
