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How to NOT Gain my Ire
For future reference: I have dial-up internet. Furthermore, my internet connection has to go through this annoying box that doesn't do it's purpose: allow me to relay a message, such as "Fuck off! Quit calling" to the person calling me, and hang up in under 5 seconds so I may resume my internet connection. However, it does do it's job and relay an annoying sound, but instead of this screamathon-inducing connection-saving, it just kicks me offline. I hate the box, and I'm pissed at my parents for installing it.
So I'm sitting here, typing an article on Common Advertising Phrases and Why They Suck, and the lady who's giving my mom a ride to work (whose name is, strangely, Boston) calls me and kicks me offline.
What was ever-so-important enough to interrupt me from possibly making sadistic comments and smartass criticisms? Her message was "Tell your mom I'm outside." Outside. OUTSIDE OF MY HOUSE? For god's sake, is she too fucking lazy to walk up to the door and knock on it? She must've been 20 feet away from the house. How the hell can you be that fucking lazy?!
So, in honor of her stupidity, I have made a list of things you DON'T do to me:
1. Don't call me. Ever. For obvious reasons.
2. Don't tell me what to do, especially if you have no true authority over me.
3. Don't get all pissy just because I used a "bad word." I hate this especially. I've been given the freedom to use whichever word I want in any situation that arises by both my parents AND my country. I'm not going to change my vocabulary just because some retard's parents sheltered them their whole lives.
4. Don't mess with any of my current projects. If I'm working on Kobra's Realm and you're one of the privledged few who can access my file manager account, don't mess with it. In fact:
5. Don't mess with any of my inactive projects without permission, either.
6. Don't talk shit behind my back. It eventually gets back to my face, and when it does you're in deep shit.
7. Don't get offended. If I'm saying something that sounds offensive, it's probably a joke... you anorexic piece of shit.
8. Don't use words like "gay" or "lame" when making fun of something. If you are specifically mentioning that someone is described by one of those two words, but that's not the point of the criticism (e.g. That gay kid over thinks that Devon's an antisemite Jew), then I don't care.
9. Don't talk to me if I'm not talking to you. It's incredibly annoying when people interrupt your conversation with their monotonous criticism (e.g. That was SO lame, even though you weren't talking to me and I had no business wasting your time and it's probably more-so lame that I'm doing this to you, it was lame.)
10. Never call me by my real name on the internet. If you're doing it in an AIM convo, I'll excuse it. But, I don't like people all over the world to know my real name UNTIL I destroy France.
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