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Everyone Needs At Least One Metal Song on their MP3 Player
You all need at least one Metal song on your MP3 Player1. Heavy Metal... Black Metal... Death Metal, Goth Metal, etc. It's all metal, and there is at least one song from every Metal band that this applies to.
And I'm not just saying that because I like metal. Because, honestly, some metal is really good music. No, my reason for this statement is based on practical uses, not based on a biased opinion. To demonstrate the purpose, allow me to tell you a story.
I have to ride the bus to school every morning. It's a nasty side effect of having parents too lazy to drive you to the DMV. So every morning, I go to my bus stop at the asscrack of dawn and wait there until my lazy-assed bus driver gets her butt in gear and picks us up.
Oh, by the way. I'm on the last bus stop in the mornings. As a result, there is usually one or two open seats because some people sit three to a seat. However, when I head towards the back of the bus, this is not the case. Those immature tampon-suckers scramble to ensure I don't have a seat in the mornings.
Now, most people would give a shit and complain to the bus driver... or a school administrator. Me? I'm an asshole, so I make room for myself. And I usually aim for one of the people coordinating what I refer to as "the douchebag scramble." Of course, they will respond to this with the most annoying and whiny bitching imaginable... bitching so annoying that it can render your average MP3 useless even at full volume.
This is where Metal music comes into play. No matter how whiny those dumb bastards are, and no matter how many people bitch at me too, I don't hear any of it because I'm being deafened by Sanctity Within Darkness by Graveworm at max volume. And since those flaming cowards are too scared to try to pluck my earphones out (with good reason, too. The last person who tried that almost got a mouthful of knuckle sandwich) so they have no choice but to sit there all pouty and bitchy because the kid they tried to screw out of a seat is sitting next to them and ignoring all their complaints.
That is why I urge you all to download at least one obnoxiously loud Metal song onto your MP3 Player1. I lean more towards Symphonic Black Metal myself, but you can choose whatever you want. And you don't really have to like the song that much, either.
Remember: no matter how much scorn you hold towards Metal music, it's always better than the whiny bitch sitting next to you who won't just shut the fuck up.
1Notice how I said MP3 Player and not iPod? It's kinda like how people call tissues a Kleenex... there's more than one fucking brand of it, so don't call them all by that brand. That's kinda like calling everything made from chocolate Hersheys.
What about Sellotape? I'd've made a fuss if you'd just called it an 'MP3', rather than an MP3 player - at least an iPod is an MP3 player, rather than simply a piece of music.
Agreed, at any rate. Metal is one of the genres I can stand and enjoy, and if I had an MP3 player there are a couple of songs that'd be on it constantly, if not constantly played due to love of my ability to hear.
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