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More Addicting Than Heroine...

A few months ago, I found something that is inarguably more addicting than crack. I stand before you today, as the first person alive to ever break this addiction. I didn't need support groups, I just needed to have really lazy parents! By having extremely lazy parents, I broke my addiction to Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion.

Oblivion is the second-most addicting substance on the face of the earth. Second in addictiveness only to World of Warcrack, Oblivion is possibly the most nerdgasmic game you will ever find on a console. Oblivion may also be the cure for all forms of impotency. Fuck viagra. Just play Oblivion and you'll have enough of a crotch rocket to get anything pregnant, including your Xbox controller.

If I had to give Oblivion a score out of 10, I would have to say 0-1 so that it becomes 10/0, which equals infinity for all of you slow-witted boorish morons who failed prealgebra or believe it's impossible to divide by zero.

My custom class also totally rules. I'm a master in Blade, Light Armor, Armorer, Destruction, Restoration, Alchemy, Alteration, and Mysticism. And only five of those are my "Major Skills!" And I'm so fucking enchanted that I glow in the dark. Or maybe that was my Light spell... whatever. When I cast my Shield spell, I get over 80% Shield (that's with enchantments and my spell) so I'm an invulnerable sex god who can reshape reality to whatever form I wish.

Unfortuantely, my character reflects my real life character so my Luck is abominable. But hey, who needs luck anyway? It's like switching your attack die with a d% and requiring a 100 for a critical threat, but it's better than nothing, right?!

*sigh* I put way too many skill points into Innuendo and Knowledge, so now I only make successful skill checks on nerd references. What a waste
+Comments (9)
Jwguy
Too bad Oblivion isn't Online playable. That would be fun
voodooKobra
We need to suggest that idea to Bethesda Software.
Gogogodzilla
There are online mods. I don't know if they are any good though.
Jwguy
If by Mods you mean:

(1) Downloads and Add-ons; Yeah, there are, cool stuff like Horse Armor, Tomes (books that teach spells) added to Loot Lists, and even new dungeons and Homes.

(2) Online Gameplay; Nope, none. I've scoured every option on the game, tried everything on Xbox Live, searched Every forum... Nada.
Gogogodzilla
Nah, it's on FileFront or something. You need to be on a LAN party line though.
Jwguy
On Xbox Live?

If its a player-created thing, it might not be too good... But if they have it, why not an official MS version?
Gogogodzilla
Bethsda didn't want to focus on multiplayer. They wanted to create the 'perfect' single player game. I think it failed. The game is a little overrated and lacks the amount of quests the Elder Scrolls III did.

And no, I think that Live only allows official mods.
Jwguy
I say they succeeded. Great game and all, just after a while I'd like to play something that good with friends you know
voodooKobra
I think Final Fantasy XII will be more fun. After four months of Oblivion, it does get a bit tiresome.
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Created: September 22, 2006 12:54 am
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