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High School Football is Fascism
A Half-Assed Photoshop to indicate High School Football is Fascist
If you're like me and you live in the penis of the world (Florida for you slow-witted morons), then you must've heard the flood of useless bullshit concerning high school football player Noel Devine [sic]. For the rest of you whom I envy, a pretentious meat-headed football player is in the spotlight because he can play an insipid American sports game with an uncanny resemblance to rugby at a skill level comparable to the equally worthless predecessors. Last year he was given the option to drop out of high school to play for Texas, and he turned it down. Not just because he wants his high school diploma, but he refused to give up marijuana. This information comes from Devine's dealer (or at least one of them), so there must be some credibility behind it. (Hint: Don't email me saying "You can't prove that" you morons. I have my sources!)
But enough about that pot-smoking jockstrap-wearing oaf. If I write any more, I'm liable to get expelled from high school for having an opinion. Y'know, I'm so fucking sorry that I utilize my Constitutional rights. Throw me into the electric chair for being an individual. You're no better than the Puritans of Salem Massacusetts.
Besides, I don't personally know Noel or have any conflicts with him. The issue I have is one you all should be familiar with (assuming you didn't get this link from some concerned single soccer mom with cobwebs in her vagina. In which case, you're a gullible idiot for believing there's actually an issue to be found here): high school football has a habit of forcing itself into every classroom, announcement, and orfice within the school.
My problem started when the Television Productions teacher gave us all an assignment straight from the Principal. Mr. B, as I'll call him so as to avoid prosecution, told us to make a video about Noel Devine. He ignored all of our outcries of, "what happened to 'No I in Team'?", "what about the other team members or the members of other sports teams for that matter?" (and my outcry of "Everyone shut up! I'm listening to Rammstein!") and basically told us to shove what's left of our pride up our c&#$!@rnholes and "get hot on it."
Now, I know Mr. B well enough to realize he was coerced into giving this assignment by our mafia-like school administrators. Mr. B is one of those "cool teachers," so it didn't take much inquisition to confirm my theory. Our fuhrerprincipal made Mr.B give that assignment (see inane), AND he expected us to actually make the video, too.
Mr. B, fortunately, knew better than to bug me to do one of those horrid conformations to the uniformity of a fascist school district for two reasons. The first being that I'm lazy as hell. Not even God can deny that one. The other reason being the well-known fact that I'm too incredibly stubborn to sit down and make a video for something I don't care about. By the way, I have an F in TV productions now.
Finally, on Monday morning, they played a horribly thrown-together video on the school news. No surprises here. Anyone enough to throw a coherent video wouldn't waste their time on this garbage. And they've played it every fucking day since Monday... as if Noel's ego wasn't already comparable to a small quasar already. And they'll probably keep playing it until football season finally ends in early November.
I don't see why jocks are always in the spotlight. It's not like they'd every be cantidates for valevictorian without the grade adjustments they receive by teachers under the pressure of our entire fucking administration, all their coworkers, and all the members of the Alumni (see "Dumbasses with nothing better to do with their wasted lives than to incessantly attend every fucking football game until their dying day"). The only thing they're good at is an extracirricular activity that nobody in their right mind gives a shit about. Although I suppose all that time they spent practicing for football that could have been "better" spent doing something useful such as learning to use a computer, or even learning to read, will come in handy someday. It's not like computers are the future or anything absurd like that, right?
To be fair, Mcdonald's managers might be somewhat impressed by your football record, but for the rest of the world who embraces science and technology remain unimpressed by a bunch of high school dropouts with an IQ comparable to a lobotomy patient with Alzheimer's. If you feel like throwing your education away, fine. Personally, I'd rather make something of myself (best fry cook of the month isn't an applicable accomplishment here). But for the love of boobs, keep your extracirricular BULLSHIT far distant away from my academic transcript. I'm not getting denied into college because I have enough self-respect and dignity to say no to fascism.
If "mein Fuhrer" or any other school administrators have a complaint about this post, don't pull me into the office in succession for a week. The Constitution is the Supreme Law of the land, and thus overrides your petty little Technology Contract. If you still think your input has any bearing on my website, e-mail me. I posted my e-mail address on every page for a reason.
Keep in mind I'm not promising that e-mailing me will guarantee in the removal of any subjective content. It may also result in me posting it as a "hate mail." You have been warned.
a pretentious meat-headed football player is in the spotlight because he can play an insipid American sports game with an uncanny resemblance to rugby at a skill level comparable to the equally worthless predecessors
Our school is bad with it too, but thankfully we don't have the facilities in our school to play a school news thing. We just recently aquired a devise called a "calculations machine". This amazing piece of 18th century technology can, if given a week, calculate numbers that need added together!
And yet we can afford to send the entire Rugby team every year on a tour of New Zealand which involves the amazingly skilled tasks of getting to watch the Rugby world cup, fuck some girls, get drunk, and soil the school's reputation all at the expense of me and my family! And lets not forget that the school budget that would otherwise go into buying (half-decent) computers, some working musical instruments, and some books (we still haven't got a copy of MacBeth and we're expected to know it off by heart by February)! Wowzers!
This page will always serve as a reminder to all of the uppity, worthless assholes who bullshat their way through High School so they could waste away their education on a futile attempt to make a living as an athlete.
This is the era of the intellectuals, you morons! We win, you lose.
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