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Another Dumb Jock | I don't know what it is, but I've had to deal with quite a few dumbasses lately. Jwguy suggested that I'm becoming more of an asshole, but there's two things wrong with that statement. The first is that it's impossible to be more of an asshole without making Omen calling it a competition, and the other is that people have been saying "Oh my god you're so nice lately." I know, I'm not proud of it, but the whole "nice" accusation has been flung around too much to be ignored. Since that can't be the reason, I have to conclude that maybe there's been a subtle drop in the IQ of the average joe and I was unaffected by it.
Anyway, I pissed off a jock today in my second period class. I know, what a drastic change. There was an incident where someone was stupid and I'm not the one who got angry. What a suprise.
We were supposed to be taking notes from an overhead projection in English class today, and a student noticed a typo. Without fail, a student I will refer to as Shitface from here on for anonymity and legal reasons started to badger the teacher. "What does the 'O' stand for? Does it mean 'of', 'on', or 'or'?" The teacher then tells the class twice, but Shitface was too busy being an obnoxious dumbass to listen to the teacher, so he didn't hear it. Then, the teacher says, "I already told you! It's 'of'!" Then Shitface pipes up with "Well, it could be 'on' as well!" So I decide, Alright, time to intervene so he can shut up and I can go back to drawing my ball-stomping self portrait and said "No, it would be out of context." Shitface continues to be a dumbass, so the teacher looks at me and says, "Why are you even talking to him?" I think she was gonna add "You're wasting your time", but I already inferred that by Shitface's lack of brain activity.
Finally, the teacher yells "[Shitface], shut up!" Shitface says, "What? I'm trying to have an intelligent conversation." Finally, my bullshit detector exploded and I responded to this by saying, "Ironic, an intelligent conversation with an unintelligent participant!" just loud enough for the whole class, teacher and all, to hear with the utmost of clarity. The class went "Ooooh..." as if I just said "Yo momma!" or some lame gangsta thug shit. Shitface looked at me and, a few seconds later when the gears finally clicked, responded with "How about you shut up, you freak?!" I, being me, said "How about not?" and then the teacher piped up and said "That's enough, both of you." Shitface then said, at a slightly quieter level, "Why don't you go slit your wrists?!"
I doubt I was the only one who glared at him with contempt, for when I turned my head back to shake it in disbelief at the sheer stupidity of what Shitface just said, the teacher was giving him the Pity Glare. You know the one. It has a "How do you manage to breathe? Fucking incredible!" feel to it. Then the bell rang.
You know, I'd have say Shitface is on par with the redneck bitch at CVS from last night. For those of you who aren't familiar with the reasons WHY he's a dumbass, here's a quick point-by-point analysis.
1. I'm not a "freak" (which is a common misnomer for Goth). I rarely ever wear a shred of black clothing, and only do it when I feel like it. Even then, I don't go overboard. (Unless wearing a pair of black pants and a grey shirt makes me gothic. Woooh, better get my prosthetic vampire fangs. Idiot.)
2. Freaks don't slit their wrists. Emo kids do.
3. Freaks, which are a subgenre of Goths, usually wear wild-colored, mismatched clothing. I wear a plain shirt and a pair of pants. No jewelry, no piercings, no wristbands, no fake tattoos, no wrist scars.
You know, my teacher's was right about one thing. I was wasting my time trying to make him realize his mistake. The err in her assumption, however, was that I was trying to be helpful. I walked out of class laughing on the inside, and I made ten people so far laugh at his stupidity. The way I look at it is that if I made ten people laugh at one person's stupidity, I effectively commited 9 good deeds. Man I rule.
 Comments (7) |
voodooKobra
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That's why dumbass jocks shouldn't be in Honors English. I should totally show this to my Principal as evidence of my utter and complete intellectual superiority to all the dumbasses in my school. Then turn my entire school into mindless, zombie-like minions and cast a golden statue in Omen's image just to spite the Old Testament story. Either that, or request they move him to regular English because he's obviously not advanced enough to handle "Honors English" work (which fits in between standing up and taking a shit in the universal spectrum of difficulty) |
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Jwguy
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| QUOTE | | I don't know what it is, but I've had to deal with quite a few dumbasses lately. Jwguy suggested that I'm becoming more of an asshole, but there's two things wrong with that statement. |
a Slightly Less MisConstrewed version, but still very much Misconstrewed:
| QUOTE |
Kobra: I'm having problems regarding the worth of human life more and more on a daily basis.
Jwguy: Well, you were planning to redeem yourself in your self-inspired imploding evil.
Kobra: Yeah thats true, but I'm not really trying. |
And so it is. lol
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voodooKobra
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I didn't say I wasn't trying to be evil. I said "an asshole." Who misconscrued now? |
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Jwguy
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| QUOTE | | but still very much Misconstrewed: |
it's called paraphrasing beotch! OWNAGE! |
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Jwguy
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and that was a joke, for those who dont appreciate my efforts despite my odd sense of humor |
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voodooKobra
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Whoa, really? Could've fooled me. |
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Jwguy
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Precisely why it's my "Odd Sense of Humor," meaning only I get it lol j/k |
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| Created: November 27, 2006 11:28 pm |
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