More Cultural Crimes Against Humanity

For example, I recently had the misfortune of having someone suggest that their malformed political opinion made sense, just because they took a class in Political Science. What the fuck does that mean? Political science. If politics were scientific, there would be a separation of church and state! If politics were scientific, it wouldn't take a Democrat who actually has balls-- which very few of them do-- for the government to sponsor research that saves lives and increases the standard of living for people with health issues. Unfuckingbelievable!

And what the fuck is the idea behind those gay pride parades? You know, some people might leave you alone if you weren't running around half-naked with a rainbow painted over your chest proclaiming, "I'm gay! Look at me, I crave attention!" It's unnecessary. Several of my friends are members of the local Gay Straight Alliance. Not once have they even thought about putting on a parade. Wanna know why? Because it's antithetical to the concept of convincing average dumb-ass American consumers that you want equal rights and to be protected by law to run around shoving your sexual orientation in their faces. Trust me, nobody cares what you do in bed, or who you do it with (unless it's with a child, in which case: kill yourself). Anyone who does is either closeted or stupid. Most likely a combination of the two.

A serious case of "Not helping one's own cause."
(I meant to draw a whole parade here, but I'm lazy as all hell.)

On a completely different note, why is rap music still popular? Every decade had its trendy bullshit. The 70s had disco, the 80s had rock and roll, and the 90s had rap/hiphop. According to this trend, rap should have died out TEN FUCKING YEARS AGO; but still to this very day, untalented jerk-offs with less rhythmic talent than a deaf quadriplegic on morphine decide to pick up the mic and try to start their own rap group. Just stop. You're watering down an already shitty genre of music with your ignorant bullshit about shooting people, getting laid, and having money. I played D&D and my fantasies aren't as elaborate. Then again, I'm not completely fucking delusional. No woman wants to touch you, and if you're insecure enough about the size of your penis to actually shoot someone, you're just going to end up in prison for being a testosterone-driven moron. Way to glamorize failure, dipshits.

Finally, on a somewhat philosophical note, we need to take the axe to anything and everything in our culture that blinds people from realizing that certain aspects of society exist for the sole purpose of depriving people of the only two things that have intrinsic value: Independence and individuality. For instance, debt exists to make people dependent on their shitty jobs and even shittier work environments, so they'll stay loyal to a single company and be afraid to step out into the real world and try something different that just might make them happy. Sure, it keeps frictional unemployment down. Big fucking deal. Once you make a person dependent on one company, one idea, you can begin to strip away their individuality. Coerce them to think a certain way, act a certain way. Hell, you can even begin this process as early as middle school. And it works, too. Convince a person that your way is the only way to succeed in life, and make them dependent on you, and you turn what would otherwise be a strong, unique individual into a weak, mindless, cookie-cutter zombie. A compulsive consumer and irrational voter. And it's not like people are blind to this process. Even the morons who get suckered wholly into the system are aware that this is happening (assuming intelligence), so why doesn't anyone do anything about it?

Complacency and fear. People are too complacent with how things are. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Then all you have to do is convince them that it's never broken, and you'll never be responsible for how shitty things get! This is how the Republican Party operates. Then fear comes in. Fear of instability; fear of change and the stress it causes. Americans are raised to be cowardly impulse shoppers who specialize their vast potential into one mediocre fucking task, one job that will not be there thirty years from now when they're starting to think about cashing in their stocks and setting up a retirement fund. Then the rest of the system comes crashing down of them like the fucking world trade center and when they finally realize that the system needs to be changed, they bitch about every proposed change that comes their way. "Ewww, that's too much like socialism, and by that I mean I have no fucking idea what socialism actually is but Rush Limbaugh must because he made the same claim." Well, fuck you losers! You do not have a goddamn right to be complacent. Your fears are justifiable, but only because your misconceptions are varied and numerous. If you don't like the direction the country is going, feel free to leave it. And Texas, that means actually fucking do it. Talk is cheap. Just ask the emo kids who stopped getting attention after their seventh suicide attempt.

As for me, I'm going to try new things, make critical mistakes, be a success, and provide solutions to the problems that piss me off-- usually in the form of ridiculing the people who sit on their asses as the problem snowballs to the point where it threatens to kill off half the planet.

In closing, fuck you, I'm gonna be a scientist.