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Take Your Playbook and Shove It!
This morning, I received an email from a very confused fry cook (read: high school jock turned McDonald's employee) who was inquiring something about Madden, playbooks, and a whole load of superfluous bullshit. Intrigued by this moron's confusion, I typed Kobra's Corner in Google and, 'lo and behold, there's a segment on a radio show by the name of "Kobra's Corner." Apparently this slow-witted moron thinks I, like him, have nothing better to do with my vapid existence than play piss-poor sports games all day long.
The other "Kobra's Corner" isn't news to me. I've mentioned it before. But this is the first time I've had an idiot ask me about it. So here, once and for all, I am going to answer all the questions I was asked and all the questions I feel you morons might ask in the future:
Q: Are you still part of MaddenNation Radio?
A: I would rather choke on a Uranium brick than ever be a part of such an atrocity to our airwaves.
Q: Can you help me with my playbook?
A: I have more important things to do with my life than assist strangers with their "playbook." If you're the football star that your coaches deluded you into thinking, why do you need my help to formulate an effective strategy against a severely-limited AI?
Q: Why does your segment get its own website? It's hard to navigate and I can't even find your Playbook advice."
A: That's because I hate Madden and everyone who plays Madden, and therefore my website has nothing to do with Madden. I don't have a segment either, asshole.
Q: What's your favorite version of Madden?
A: Madden 100 BC - the game where you get to kill the dumbfucks who thought of American Football and prevent future generations from having to endure year after year of rehashed bullshit. The final boss is EA Chairman Trip Hawkins, and when you kill him Madden NFL 2006 is erased from history and everyone gets off their ass and gets a job.
I can't stand any more of this bullshit. Fuck Madden, fuck MaddenNation Radio, and fuck anyone who likes football!
Hey Crono, I showed up with a tie again. Today screw what the popular kids think of me their football loving dickheads who thinks "popular" means being a spoiled a**hole. Football can eat my shorts!!!!!!
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