| Mostly due to the fact that I'm trapped in a state filled with dipshits, holy rollers, Illegal Immigrants, and most predominately old people; I get inundiated with stupid bullshit on a regular basis. But when it comes to said stupidity, I have to draw the line somewhere. And now I've drawn the line on Senior Citizen discounts.
Fuck Senior Discounts!
Why should old people receive special treatment just because they're old and near death? "Boo-hoo! I'm old, lost, confused, and I just shat myself. I want to save money on all my meals and get into amusement parks and school events for cheaper because I'm a prudent son of a bitch!" Sorry old-timer, that shit doesn't fly with me.
But I'm a generous person, so there's one exception I'll allow: "Senior Citizen discount! 10% off assisted suicides... today only..."
Anything else is just bullshit and all it accomplishes is feeding the old bastards' egos. One time my dad had company down so we went to the local buffet and sat inside what could be described as a "separate room" and 20 minutes later a fuck-ton of the elderly stormed in and demanded that we sit "elsewhere." My dad's friend Step (more on him later when I get permission to write about him), who's like 60 years old and lost his leg in Vietnam, was with us so you can infer that his response was less than positive after the old fucks stopped being polite (read: immediately).
I've drawn the line. If we continue to give these old bastards special treatment, they'll learn to expect it and demand more. The next time an old fuck asks me, "Don't I get a senior discount?" at Dollar General, I'm going to slap them once for asking me and again for asking at a cheapskate store like Dollar General.
If you're old and you're reading this-- my offer still stands! 10% off. At that much of a discount, you can't afford not to abort yourself!
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