If you haven't heard of him, Hal Turner is a racist Neo-Nazi radio talk show host who whines endlessly each and every time a black or hispanic person breaks the law. Conversely, every incident of his Klan buddies assaulting someone with little-to-no provocation gets swept under the rug. After all, there is only so much airtime he can afford and it's better spent prattling on about misdemeanors while his White Supremacist associates are out and about wreaking havoc on unsuspecting-- and usually innocent-- people.

Turner gained notoriety for forming a "rally against violence" in which he and his friends from the "National Vanguard" tried to incite a riot against a black family over a petty argument that escalated into an assault charge. Among other things, Turner alleged that white students were the victims of racial persecution throughout the high school both students attended. Turner then described the entire rally as "pro-white" and, ironically, "against violence."

In response to this, as well as a lengthy list of other grievances, several "Anonymous" users raided his website. While my sources claim that it was "for the lulz more than for justice," he had it coming.

If Mr. Turner had any surmountable brain function, he would have realized at that point that egging these people one would be a very bad idea. Naturally, he called them out, explained their many memes over national airwaves, and trolled their many websites. To this day, he has not heard the end of it from the many Anonymous users on the internet.

You can learn from Hal's mistake: If you step on your dick, don't stomp on it six more times!

Let's assume you did something that makes you seem completely fucking brain-dead: You tell me I need to find God. After you make this initial mistake, I'll be inclined to just say, "No thanks" and let that be the end of it.

If you decide to carry it further and say, "Did you know that Jesus died for your sins?" I'll be inclined to introduce a PVC pipe into your anatomy in highly inconvenient and painful places.

You, I, and everyone else in the world knows that everyone makes mistakes. Repeating the same act of stupidity, however, no longer classifies it as a mistake; it becomes a fucking annoyance. For once your antics cross that line, most peoples' responses will become incrementally hostile.

Your immediate response to saying something incredibly stupid might be to try spontaneous damage control-- which inevitably leads to having jumbled thoughts, jumbled words, and often a failed relationship. Your girlfriend won't bitch at you if you pause for a few seconds to word your next few sentences carefully, explaining what you really meant. If she does, dump the bitch and hope she turns suicidal so there's one less cranky bitch on the face of the Earth.

Let's review. If you just shut the hell up, your life will be better in the following ways:

• You won't inadvertently piss off the Hackers on steroids.
• You won't get clubbed by an angry atheist.
• You won't end up with a failed relationship and/or marriage.

Give it a try. Tell me how it goes-- or rather, don't.