Summer time is a strain on places of employment. All of the High School kiddies want to get a summer job so they can blow it on useless shit they don't need, and hours are cut so far back that you couldn't get a part-time job with presidential credit and a Doctorate's in Theoretical Physics. But that doesn't stop the morons from trying, in vain, to apply for a job week after week-- and failing miserably at it.

If you still have a conviction to get a part-time job for the summer, you can at least do the management a favor and not waste their time looking like a complete dumbass. You're probably clueless about how to do so, and you're probably waiting for me to spell it out for you.

Pay attention, moron! You'll thank me for this when you're blowing all of your money on brand-new iPods and flashy, trendy clothing.

Bring your own fucking pen when filling out the application.

This is the first thing most employers look for-- well, at least this is the first thing my mom and my manager agree about looking for. If you don't bring your own pen, they're going to think that you're too whimsical and ill-prepared for simple, mundane tasks. If you bring your own pen, it shows foresight and preparation-- something you need if you want a job.

Some fucking idiot was trying to bullshit my mom while she was interviewing him the other day. I can't go into the details, but he was lying through his teeth about having a clean record while my mom had his records pulled up on the computer a glance away from his smiling face.

Usually, people don't end up as a store manager if they're incompetent and easily-fooled. It's better to admit that you made mistakes before in your life than it is to sit there and lie about them while the interviewer is glancing back and forth between you and your permanent records.

Just fess up. It will show them that you can take responsibility for your mistakes and that you have a conviction to do something with your life-- even if it's starting with a nine-dollar an hour job moving boxes of marble tiles.

This is the catch-all category for issues that would otherwise be considered common sense. Don't show up drunk, sloppily-dressed, and unprepared. Dress casually yet nice enough to show you're not a bum; and bring a pen. Seriously, if you don't bring one to the interview or the application you won't get hired anywhere.

Would you be compelled to hire the same person who was in the store two weeks ago shit-faced drunk and made a huge mess that you had to clean up? Not likely.

If you've already ruined your first impression with the store's employees, TOUGH SHIT! Any attempt to get a job at that location will be in vain. Move on to somewhere else, your opportunity has been lost.

If, however, you've never been into a store before. Shop there a few times first. Get a feel for the place, and the employees, before you even consider applying. Some may see this as a waste of time, but doing so will put you ahead of everyone else because you'll learn the store layout long before they ever will. On top of that, you won't trap yourself with a bitchy employee because you would've noticed said bitchiness during your attempts to scope the place out. Just avoid looking like a shoplifter.

Believe it or not, Dollar Store employees are not omniscient! If you fail to put a reliable phone number on your application, they will not know how to contact you and you will not get the job. An address isn't enough-- do you expect them to drive to your house or mail you a post card? Don't be a fucking idiot.

If you don't have a phone number, you're probably shit out of luck. Unless you can get someone else to let you use their number. But even then, you're relying on someone else's reliability and short-term memory. If I were in your situation (unlikely since I'm not a failure), I would spend the $20 to get a Tracphone so I can be self-reliant.