Americans: Quit Embracing a Culture of Cowardice!

"Why is there a Domino's guy here? With a chainsaw?"

Man, where to start with this one? Steve is a dishonest coward. Do you want a Domino's oven-baked sub? Then buy a fucking Domino's oven-baked sub! Oh, does the poor management not agree with your lunch choices? Tough shit. They don't control you. There's no reason to lie about it. Fucking pussy. I think if this commercial proves anything, it's that bullshit, despite being a solid material, can be compressed so long as the final product is a 30-second commercial.

On the way to my history class yesterday, there were two dumb squealy girls speaking loud enough that I could hear it over my MP3 player about stupid relationship bullshit when one of them proclaimed, "I would never ask a guy out." KABLAM! My bullshit detector just overloaded. What an inane double standard! Only guys should risk rejection and the humiliation that follows? These are the same kinds of women who cry their eyes out on an internet forum asking for relationship advice because that "really nice guy" that they are absolutely obsessed with won't ask them out and it fucks with their heads because they can't figure out if the feelings are mutual or not. Then all the other forum-goers scratch their heads and wonder how someone so stupid could have survived for nineteen years without constant supervision.

This isn't difficult. If you want something, don't sit around hoping that it falls into your lap. If you like someone, and they're single, ask them out. This goes for either gender. Self-inflicted emotional abuse is just another way of saying, "I'm too dumb and cowardly to express myself."