| "A trolley is running out of control down a track. In its path are 5 people who have been tied to the track. Fortunately, you can flip a switch, which will lead the trolley down a different track to safety. Unfortunately, there is a single person tied to that track. Should you flip the switch?" |
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Don't fucking do it! The Earth has way too many fucking people as it is. Grab some popcorn and watch while the trolley plows through the morons stupid enough to get tied to the tracks in the first place, and bask in the feeling that the average IQ of the nation just went up a notch. If you are, for some stupid reason, feeling heroic, go untie them. If you don't have enough time to do that, it's not your problem. Fuck them.
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| "The sheriff in a southern town is guarding the courthouse against a mob that is about to storm it by force, in order to capture a black prisoner and lynch him even before his trial. If the mob is frustrated, many people may be killed in the ensuing riot. Should the sheriff deliver the prisoner to the mob?" |
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No. The sheriff should not only keep the prisoner in the prison, but he should shoot any surviving members of the mob in the crotch to prevent them from having any more stupid children. Then, he should stand atop a mountain of corpses in front of the town church and piss on the Bible from the necrosummit. Not only would that be ethical, but bad-ass at the same time.
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| "A man has been sentenced to prison for armed robbery, and admits guilt for the deed. "But", he argues,"I'll never do anything of the kind again. I'm not insane or a danger to society. I would be happier out of jail than in. My wife depends on me for support and she and the children would be far happier if I were able to be the family breadwinner again. As to the influence on others, almost no one would ever know about it; you can keep the matter out of the newspapers and no one except you will ever know that the crime was committed. Therefore, you should release me" Assuming he is correct, what would you do?" |
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Kick him in the nuts and tell him to pipe down. If he's already been sentenced, at least one other person by necessity already knows about it, and chances are I work for that person. No way in hell I'd lose my job for some bank-robbing scumbag. Liars and thieves earn equal contempt from me.
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| "You are on a country road and see two neighbouring farm houses on fire. One is yours and the other belongs to a new couple who just moved in. Your wife and child are at home as are your neighbours. You can only save one house. Which one do you save?" |
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Neither. Make sure everyone's safe and start taking photos for insurance purposes, and move to a city where the people are shallow, the pussy comes easy, and WiFi is unsecured.
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| "You run an orphanage and have had a hard time making ends meet. A car dealership offers you a new van worth ,000 for free if you will falsely report to the government that the dealership donated a van worth ,000. You really need the van and it will give you an opportunity to make the children happy. Do you agree to take the van?" |
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No. First off, fuck making the children happy. And most importantly, anyone who wants you to lie for them is a coward who will sell you down the river the first chance they get. Not only should you turn down their offer, but you should break their neck out of principle.
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| "You are shopping and notice a woman stuffing a pair of stockings into her purse. Do you report her?" |
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This one is easy: Just steal her purse and hide it in the store. When an employee finds it with her ID and the stockings all bundled together in one neat little package, she'll get arrested without you having to deal with the dumbshits who run the store. No police reports or any of that. Just one pissed off cleptomanicunt.
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| "You are waiting with a few other people to board a bus. The bus pulls up and before you can board the driver gets out and goes into the convenience store to get a coffee. You are the last to get on the bus. Do you pay your fare?" |
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If the bus driver is stupid enough to leave the bus without being on his break, and to not lock the door, it's his problem. Of course, I have to assume this because the question doesn't cover those details.
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| "It is 3 a.m. and you are late getting home. As you approach the intersection you notice that no one is around. Do you drive through the red light?" |
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Running red lights when there is no risk of getting hurt or arrested is economical. Accelerating a car takes up more gas than driving at a constant pace. Aside from that, there are no consequences. Why is this even a fucking question?
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| "In Dostoyevsky's novel Crime and Punishment the main character plots and carries out the murder of an old woman who has a considerable amount of money in her apartment. After killing her, he steals the money. He argues that 1) she is a malicious old woman, petty, cantankerous and scheming, useless to herself and to society (which happens to be true), and her life causes no happiness to herself or to others; and 2) her money if found after her death would only fall into the hands of chisellers anyway. Whereas he would use it for his education. Is this action justified?" |
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If his primary reason for committing the murder is because she's a worthless old bitch, where's the problem? She probably would've died in a few years anyway, and he probably saved a lot of people some unneeded suffering (thus blood pressure, thus health, thus lives). Though if he gets caught, he just wasted the woman's life frivolously, to which I say, "Kiss your education goodbye, cocksucker, and don't forget your soap-on-a-rope!"
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I've come to the conclusion that ethics is easy and people who struggle with ethical dilemmas are overly sensitive morons who place too much importance on arbitrary things like the value of human life. Fucking pussies.
