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...their lips to my ass!
Over a week ago, my great-grandma died and my mom flew the two of us out of state for her funeral. Then, as a result of the shitty December weather, we were forced to take a Greyhound bus home. BIG MISTAKE!
For those of you who have never ridden on a Greyhound bus, it's a clusterfuck. In a desperate attempt to save my sanity, I made a list of things Greyhound did to piss me off while waiting for our new driver to remove his head from his ass in Abilene, TX:
- The credit/debit system is down company-wide. If you want to buy something, be prepared to spend an extra $5.00 on ATM fees (assuming they aren't out of order).
- Most vending machines I encountered don't take dollars-- only quarters.
- The bus seats are so uncomfortable that they cause severe coccydynia.
- There are lines so long that the buildings cannot accommodate them.
- The food sucks and is overpriced.
- The other passengers consist of whiny kids and grumpy old fucks, as well as people who can't speak English but also can't shut up.
- Greyhound is incapable of following their own schedule, in addition to taking too long and costing too much.
- The bathrooms are shitty-- both on the bus and in the stations.
- If the dipshit in front of you reclines their seat, say goodbye to mobility.
- As a result of being on a bus for several days without bathing, the people smell (noticeably, even in Texas).
- Even the employees can't get the higher-ups to do their fucking jobs-- let alone answer the phone.
- The final arrival time on your ticket? Disregard it.
15 minute 1 hour bus stops.
- You have to move all your luggage every time you transfer buses.
Being dragged by a leaky septic truck in an iron maiden for 3,000 miles is better than riding Greyhound.
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