"Scientologist" is Synonymous With Failure

However, when someone tries so hard and fails even harder, I don't feel sorry for them; I laugh.

• They filed a protest permit for the same day as the Anonymous protest; nullifying both permits.

  This would have caused the Clearwater Police to force us to pack up our shit and get out of there, but to their chagrin the Clearwater Police Department decided to allow the event because nobody fucked up last time. (Atlanta could learn from their example.)

• They rented a fleet of Enterprise trucks in a failed attempt to block the protest from the people driving by.

  This idea fell on its face because they were unable to form a wall of trucks and because they only managed to block one side of any given street; members of Anonymous covered both sides in most places.

• They released statements to the press calling Anonymous a group of adolescent cyber-terrorists.

  Excuse me; let's ignore Operation Snow White and Operation Freakout for a second and accuse a peaceful group (which consists mostly of college students) of the most frequently used term to incite fear in America: Terrorist.

  I'm not sure if this plan worked or to what extent; I just wanted to point out the overwhelming irony.

• They arranged for Scientologist-operated businesses to hang up signs that said, "Anonymous not welcome here."

  Their loss, but for the sake of argument, let's assume a member of Anonymous wanted to buy something from a business that displayed this sign; how would the business owners know if they're Anonymous or not?

  I mean, sure, if they were wearing a mask, it would be obvious. But let's say they took their mask off; suddenly the Scientologist who runs the business would be forced into indiscriminate paranoia or give up and let them buy stuff from their business (not that anyone would ever want to).

• They used their influence to arrange the wrongful arrest of two protesters in Atlanta.

  The beautiful thing about a cult that condemns psychology is that they fight psychological warfare without any sense of strategy.

  Let me elaborate: They played what would, in my opinion, be a trump card by using their influence to arrange for two protester's wrongful arrest; in front of a group of 100 people armed with digital cameras, camera-phones, and camcorders.

  That's bad enough, but it gets worse: The protesters were not read their Miranda rights and they weren't lead to a squad car; they were lead into a Scientology building.

  After the arrests, the Atlanta PD began ticketing any motorist who showed support for the protesters (despite the fact that they didn't break any laws).

  Furthermore, one of Anonymous's goals is to initiate a federal investigation of the cult. This move could metaphorically be compared to shooting yourself in the foot while trying to run from the FBI.

• Scientologists pressed charges for "bomb threats" against a random protester.

  Without evidence, I can only speculate; but the Cult of Scientology appears to have mailed packages of white powder and bomb threats to themselves in an attempt to brand Anonymous as terrorists. Now, they accused one of (the only?) Los Angeles protester who took his mask off during the protest in an attempt to scapegoat him as the culprit.

  You're probably asking yourself, "How does this fail?" Let's walk through this. Slowly.

  • Cult with a history of manipulation, litigation, and infiltration.
  • Alleged bomb threat.
  • Federal investigation.

  Congratulations, Cult of Scientology, you're doing half the work for us!