This was going to be the first part of a new series but too many people hated it because it clashed with the rest of my articles too much (writing style). So I abandoned the series. If you insist on reading it, feel free.

What's harder to do: climb on a raft or go through the proper channels (learn English, endure extensive background checks, etc.) to migrate to America? To answer this, I engaged in a Q&A session (see also: argument) with the two politically-correct morons. Our exchange went something like this:

Me: "In what way do the Cubans have to work hard to come here?"

Guy: "Because there aren't any rafts ready for them." (I wish I was making this up.) "They have to build their own and they risk getting shot and stuff."

Me: "So you're insinuating that it's more difficult for them to hop on a raft than it is to learn a new language, familiarize yourself with foreign laws (written in English), and find your place in a strange land?"

Girl: "Well, they only come over here because they have to feed their families."

Me: "My great-grandparents came to the U.S.-- legally-- to escape from Hitler. Is 'our lives are impoverished' more important than 'we have Nazis on our ass?'"

Girl: "I'm not for illegal immigration, but I'll tell you what-- those people work harder to provide for their families than most of the people already here."

Me: "But does that make them better than the people from every other country in the world who are forced to go through the immigration process due to their geographical disposition?"

Girl: "I'm not going to argue this with you." (Note: She said this with a holier-than-thou tone, which is why I pressed on.)

Me: "Then you concede that allowing illegal immigrations from Mexico and Cuba is disrespectful-- not only to hard-working Americans with ancestors who had to migrate legally-- but also to the famished Asians, Africans, Oceanians, and Europeans who have to migrate legally?"

Girl: "..."

Note: In this incident, the guy was perceptive enough to realize to shut up early into the discussion while the girl kept running her noise-hole. That's the difference between a misinformed idiot and a self-aggrandizing, holier-than-thou idiot.

(Update 12-01-2007)
  Due to the sheer volume of complaints that people have directed towards me, I would like to clarify the following:

• This article isn't meant to explain to you, the reader, what my views on the illegal immigration controversy are. This is a true story, not an expository.
• If I were to switch the genders of the two people in the story so that the person who shuts up is the girl and the person who keeps talking is a guy, I would probably not receive any emails with the subject title "Asshole!" To those of you who have emailed me: you're sexist; admit it.
• This wasn't a "quid-quo-pro" debate; it was a casual conversation that resulted in a casual increase in my blood pressure.