I've received a number of emails, but this one stood out above the rest.

Ray, you clearly do not know the difference between a deductive and an inductive argument.

Yes I do. I can deduce that you really believe in ALMIGHTY GOD but wish he didn't exist so you can get away with your sins, and I can induce a current through your body until you admit it. See you in the torture chamber, heathen!

Mr. Cumfart, have you ever taken a biology class? That's a rhetorical question, by the way.

No, I haven't. What's does "rhetorical" mean? I didn't learn that word in Sunday School.

Please, for the love of God, stop posting shit. You're an embarrassment to sane Christians.

Oh yeah? Well SANATY is dislexic for SATANY! YOU SATANIST! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YE, FALSE BELIEVER!!!

Today I take a break from my usual incompetence, lack of understanding that populations evolve (not individuals), "creative quoting" (You load sixteen tons, and what do you get?), and otherwise dishonest debate tactics and instead focus on Darwin Day.

You see, atheists celebrating the birth of Darwin is like an Atheist Christmas. These people are literally deifizicating Charles Darwin. ATHEISM IS A RELIGION! Ha! In your face, atheists!

Wait, what's that? It's hypocritical and nonsensical for a religious person to try to discredit atheism by comparing it to religion? Get the fuck out of here.

To everyone's chagrin, I have not followed through on any of my suicide attempts yet. So, instead, I'm going to post another strawman argumant that has nothing at all to do with atheism, demolish the strawman, and proclaim victory over atheism. While I'm basking in my imaginary victory over those evil, vile atheists, my wife will rush to the medicine cabinet to fetch my medicine before I beat here again. LOL.

Here goes:

Atheists believe there was nothing, which exploded, and the universe came into existence.

BUT THAT VIOLATES THE 7TH LAW OF THEORDYNAMICS!

Listen to this quote from Professor Stephen Hawking. "Atheists are doody heads!" See? You foolish atheists better embrace Jesus Christ, the son of God (even though he never said he had any divine powers anywhere in the Bible and only metaphorically referred to God as a "heavenly father"-- but nevermind what the Bible actually says) before our all-loving, all-powerful, all-knowing god immolates you for all eternity for not believing in idea for which there is no evidence.

Hey guys, I decided that quote mining isn't low enough, so I decided to download, crop, and edit an image from a webcomic without permission to make it look like the author supports creationism.

Atheists: 0. God: Infinity. Neener neener neener!