Yeah, I know. Stupid idea letting the most sarcastic person on late-night television run the country, right? WRONG! Colbert has all the positive aspects of Ronald Reagan (sense of humor, get-things-done attitude, etc.) with the added bonus of economic sense.

Hillary Clinton is a thoroughbred bitch, Barack Obama wants to make peace with Iran (when we should be carpet-bombing the shithole back to the stone age-- not that it'll make much of a difference), Fred Thompson is an indecisive old duffer, and every other candidate is too busy kissing ass to persuade anyone that they're worth even voting for in the Primaries (except Rudi Giuliani; who might give Colbert a run for his money if he campaigns hard enough).

While the feminists might be in support of Clinton just because of her gender, the minorities will be in support of Obama because he isn't white. Eventually the two of them will have a politically-correct DBZ-esque showdown and eliminate a small country in the process (hopefully Cuba or Mexico).

Lastly, not voting for Colbert is akin to throwing your votes away; Anonymous will support Colbert and, even if there aren't enough Anons to change the tide of the election, some /b/tard hacker will inevitably find a way to rig the votes and he'll be our President anyway.

Remember, a vote for anyone other than Colbert is a vote for Satan (just in case there are any impressionable Christians reading my bullshit).