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Common Phrases That I Hate
English is a language of degrees; often manifesting in the degree to which a word or phrase elevates my blood pressure. To postpone my eventual mental breakdown, please refrain from saying any of the following (either online or in person):

  • "Are you shitting me?"
    Derived from popular usage of the word "bullshit," this phrase reeks with the same connotation as "scat porn." Stop using it!
  • "Dope"
    No, my shirt isn't dope; it's fabric. You aren't going to melt it in a spoon and inject it. Get your shit together or talk to someone else.
  • "Cute"
    Anyone over the age of twelve who still uses this word deserves an elbow to the sternum.
  • "Straight"
    Used as an adjective and unrelated to matters of sexual preference; meant to signify one's lack of a need or desire. A simple "no thanks" would suffice, you imbecile!
  • "Cuh"
    Thrown in after every sentence or phrase; the number of times you say this is directly proportional to my blood pressure. I will go to almost any length to shut you up if you say "cuh".
  • "Well"/"Like"/"Um"
    Anyone who makes excessive use of these stalling words needs to slow down, shut up, and reevaluate their life.
  • "Oh my God"
    Here's a general rule of thumb: If it's out of style on the internet, don't say it in real life.
  • "Popular"
    Calling someone (un)popular is like voting yourself for President. Unless you have millions of people who concur, your opinion is wasted.
  • "Ridin'"
    When someone says something is "ridin'," they're expressing approval. If I'm within close proximity, they will be expressing anguish shortly.
  • "That be"/"This be"
    Somewhere, there is an English major praying for your demise because you use this phrase.
  • "Squeeze"
    An annoying short hand term for a "significant other." Since it's easy to mispronounce as "sleaze," I don't discourage the usage of this one too much.
  • "Rhetorical Question"
    This was cool back when Red Mage from 8-Bit Theater was the only person who made use of it. Thanks to Hollywood's latest mind-dump, Mr. Woodcock, snobby girls everywhere are parroting this across High Schools nationwide.
  • "Baby"
    Anyone who calls their girlfriend "baby" or "baby girl" becomes an incestuous pedophile in my book.
    Is not sounding like a complete fucking retard really too much to ask?
  • Created: September 17, 2007 3:46 am
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