So partly to spite them, and partly because my hatred for this state is growing at a faster rate, this is why Florida still sucks and why you shouldn't move here.

1. The setting.

When you think of Florida, you probably think of this:

As for someone who has actually lived in Florida, they typically think of this:

I'm not entirely sure why people listen to tourist agencies; Florida isn't and never will be Hawaii. While it's not quite the Everglades either, it's not far from it. Floridians live in an industrialized swamp. Anyone who says otherwise is either fueled by greed or in denial.

2. The Economy.

Florida Tourism is geared to two distinct types of people: The old and the rich. If you think the average cost for a house is outrageous everywhere in the world, you aren't prepared to look at some of the asking prices on homes in Florida. Where a home of similar construction might cost $80,000 everywhere else in the United States, it will cost upwards of $200,000 in Florida-- guaranteed.

As a result, Florida's economy is shitting on itself right now. The housing market has fallen in because houses are too expensive for the average person to afford. In Florida, a veteran who has served several terms, suffers from major disabilities, and has a large family cannot get a home because the prices are so fucking outrageous! The American Dream is dead in Florida, just as half its current residents will be in ten years.

3. The Education.

Out of all 50 states in the union, Florida ranks 48th in education. I can attest to the stupidity of the average Florida student; every time I open my mouth to say something, everyone in my class grabs their dictionaries (I'm not the most verbose person on the planet, either).

4. The People.

The population of Florida can be split into three categories (with minor overlap between the first two): millionaires, old people, and the scum of the earth. By the scum of the earth, I of course mean the drug dealers, prostitutes, alcoholics, homeless, Wal-Mart employees, and former High School football stars. Pick your poison; you'll find them here in sunnyrainy Florida!

5. The Weather

It seems that Google knows the truth of this matter (even if you idiots don't):

And no matter how many shitty, badly-written emails I receive from unimportant people with their ill-formulated opinions, I will not change my mind on this matter. Florida is the ass of the world and the Everglades is the runny diarrhea because Earth is too lazy to wipe. I can't stress the fact enough that I loathe Florida and the surrounding area with all my being. Fuck Florida!