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Idealism and Other Forms of Idiocy
I can't stand people who think "keep[ing] a stiff upper lip" and"look[ing] at the good in people" will solve all of their problems. They come in many flavors from the whiny "Hopeless Romantic" to the ever-bullshitting "Optimist." Here are some things that these mindless shit-spewing dipshits say and/or believe. Most of the following are real quotes people have said:
"Keep a stiff upper lip."
Why bother when you can keep a stiff entire body instead? Hint: Rigor Mortis.
"You're never fully dressed without a smile."
Likewise, you're never fully dressed without a boot up your ass.
"Chivalry isn't dead... it's just in another form."
And the award for the stupidest thing I've heard in English class all year goes to... the fucking idiot who said this! If chivalry is "in another form," then it isn't chivalry now is it, fuckwit?
"I see only the good in people."
That explains why you were checking out that girl's ass. To be fair, I would do the same thing but not because I "see only the good" so much as I "see only the perverted."
"Everyday on this side of the grass..."
This has a double meaning if you happen to be a miner from Huntington, Utah.
Why do these assholes persist in not only lying to themselves, but also in trying to convince me that I'm "unhappy" because I don't follow suit? Why do people who claim to be "men" sit around and write romance stories based off their favorite slash-fiction? Not only are these losers an insult to the male gender, but they're also a disgrace to humanity.
Just so there's no further confusion, I'm going to clear up a major misconception that these idiots seem to have: Real life is not the setting of a romantic comedy. You won't have a narratively-witty meeting with a beautiful girl and fall in love and live happily ever after with a large house and a large family and a large bank account because THIS NEVER HAPPENS!
This is your life: You go to school and either bust ass or drop out and live the rest of your life in poverty. If you bust ass, you might go on to college or decide that $12 an hour is enough to live on for the rest of your life. If you go to college, you'll study hard for four years and accumulate enough debt to crush a small village just so you can use your fancy degree to get a high-paying job but still spend 10 years paying off your student loans because nobody has enough brains to continue to apply for scholarships when they're already in college.
At which point do you fall in love and live happily ever after? You don't. You eventually get too drunk at a party and/or run out of condoms and knock some girl up and marry her out of guilt and either live the rest of your life raising disrespectful children because you suck at parenting or you break it off after a few years and your children inevitably do the same because they are unable to form long-lasting relationships because they lacked any semblance of a role model (and the stripper you're banging who's 10 years younger than you doesn't count) and those kids try to subscribe to social elitism to cover their insecurities only for people like me to point out how incredibly fucking stupid they really are with one monstrous run-on sentence.
If you agree, help spread the message to all your enemies: Quit acting like you're completely brain-dead and learn to accept reality for what it is. If you're incapable of this incredibly simple task, at least do me a favor and SHUT UP ABOUT IT!
