Contrary to the purpose of radio (playing music that doesn't suck), these dullards take calls from uppity assholes who trumpet their opinions in a loud, obnoxious voice, to which they invoke the edgiest card in their deck to try to make the audience laugh: profanity.

Guess what, assholes? Nobody cares that you can get away with saying "ass" or "shit" on the air. Unless you can make your jokes funny, you're wasting our time with your insipid bullshit. These idiots often respond, "Oh so when Howard Stern does it it's funny but when I do it's not?" at which point I try to master telekinesis so I can strangle them with their phone cord from the comfort of my living-room.

Howard Stern isn't funny because he says "shit," "hell," and "fuck" on the air. If Howard Stern is funny, it's because he has a grasp of comedy, whereas most of these shock-jocks wouldn't know a good joke if it struck them in the sternum. These morons couldn't deliver a joke if they rented a U-Haul.

The other day I was listening to a Tool song from a local rock station (99.3 or 102.9; I can't remember which) and the DJ took a call from some coked-out whore just so she could say, "Anyone who doesn't like Tool should change the station!" The DJ continued on to ask a rhetorical question and I changed the station-- not that I dislike Tool, but because there are better ways to waste your time waiting on traffic than listening to a cranky bitch menstruate over the only decent band that isn't barred from the airwaves... like contract liver cancer.

Speaking of cancer, every time you see a cancer patient tell them about Dichloroacetate (DCA), a chemical that treats most (if not all) forms of cancer without the horrible side-effects of chemo-therapy that has no patent and therefore no profitability. The American Cancer Society is a fraud.