There are currently over 7,000,000,000 people on the planet; 2,000,000,000 of which live close to the brink of starvation. If you decide two weeks into your pregnancy that you don't want to contribute to the overpopulation of the planet while fucking yourself out of financial freedom for the next 18+ years of your life so that you might go to college and invent something useful to the world, more power to you!

There are WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE in the world already, and you clods want to just add to our predicament because a book that was written several thousand years ago tells you that human life is precious and special? Well, I'm convinced.

The "pro-death" political stance is the best stance you can take because you always win (by default, in most cases). In fact, my parents, my brother, and even my dog are all pro-death. Here is a chart to illustrate to you, the (not-so-)astute reader, why pro-death politics are better than the wussy "anti-life" and "anti-choice" political stance.

	Pro-Life	Pro-Choice	Pro-Death
Supports a woman's right to abort her soon-to-be-ungrateful child.
Believes that God (assuming he exists and is perfect) treats human life as precious.
Supports the death penalty for murderers.
Supports the death penalty for pedophiles.
Supports the death penalty for completely fucking stupid people.
Advocates unrestrictive gun laws.
Supports total war (not the one-arm-tied-behind-our-back bullshit we're doing now).

As you can clearly see by this completely unbiased table, being pro-death kicks ass. To hell with the Liberals, the Conservatives, the Democrats, and the Republicans. We're the Massacrist Party (no relation with Charlie Crist). Our party icon is a man with two machine guns pointed in opposite directions (symbolic of our "shoot anybody and everybody" mentality).

If a woman wants to have an abortion, let her. If she wants to reluctantly have a child that she won't care for because of a book written by cattle-sacrificing primitives who thought every organism on Earth lived within walking distance of Noah's house, fine by me. But the pedophiles and the stupid people HAVE TO GO (which technically goes against the religious example, but who cares?).